letting go of a painful past

Life brings a lot of opportunities to make mistakes. Oftentimes, it is easy to tell a small lie to avoid getting into an argument. Sometimes we find ourselves in bad situations that are so dark or shameful we don’t know how we ended up there but we dare not tell anyone. It’s normal to have feelings of fear when it comes to being judged harshly by others. Even a slight look of disapproval from someone whose opinion is important to us is enough to make us bury our truths.
No one in this world that has done any living has a crystal clear past. Think about that for a minute. Although this is common knowledge, we still do not what dark things people fight to overcome every day. Every day, people ask each other how they are but most of the time it is a basic answer of “Fine and you?” We never have a true way of knowing what someone else is going through unless they decide it is something they want to talk about.

Sometimes bad decisions we have made in the past can haunt us in various ways. It haunts us because we ALLOW it to. It can keep us awake at night due to feelings of guilt. It can make us afraid to reach out to someone out of fear they continue to hold a grudge against us. It can make us anxious because it’s something that we fear will “pop up” again and ruin our future or ruin our fresh start. Maybe you did something that you regret but you know the people involved will never see you the same again.

How can we overcome our past mistakes so that we can achieve inner calm and move on? We must own all mistakes and let them go. The truth is, when we make mistakes we learn from them in some way or another. Sometimes we let negative feelings overwhelm us and it pins us to the ground. How can you ever be excited for a new start a future when you are down on yourself for past decisions made? Everyone deserves to be able to start over. When you linger in a painful past the only person who suffers is you and no one really deserves to suffer forever when they have owned up to their mistakes. If you own what you have done you are now free from denial and lies. These types of things bring negativity into our lives and we all know negative thoughts, feelings, and energies can take a toll on our health.
Repeat this to yourself: “I may have done things that I regret and have made mistakes but I own those things. I am a better person now and I only want to try to become a better person. I know there is no such thing as a perfect person so the only thing I can do is start over and make better decisions in my future. I hope anyone I have hurt along the way can forgive my actions.” Or if someone has hurt you, re-word it to match your situation and ask yourself to forgive them for their actions. If you are religious or spiritual, say a prayer for guidance.

Some find closure by apologizing to people and things of that nature. They need contact and interactions with the people of their painful past. This is fine, however, sometimes we are not in a position to do that or it is not an option for one reason or another. It is still possible to have closure to past issues by closing that chapter on your own and keeping a positive mind. When you do this, your past cannot hold you hostage another day. Forgive yourself and forgive others. This will bring you peace and good karma. If you believe in that sort of thing.

 

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2 thoughts on “letting go of a painful past

  1. This really spoke to my heart. So many times, I would dwell on things that caused me pain in the past. This would lead to anger, bitterness, and resentment. Harboring all of this negativity wasn’t hurting anyone but myself. Unforgiveness is like eating rat poison, you’re only killing yourself! Thanks for the insight, T!

    • That is true and well said. When we become aware of what hanging on to pain is doing to us the more we realize we have to let things go to improve our own well being. With time, it becomes easier because we learn that it’s a part of life. It’s an ongoing thing..
      Thanks for stopping in Mrs. Taylor 🙂

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